My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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