before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
