I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize