I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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