Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
