it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
