i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
