She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
