I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
