is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
