After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
