Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
