I want to make a zoo with you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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