I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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