can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
