Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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