would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize