Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My vagina just clenched in fear
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
