At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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