im holly from the hills drunk
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
