I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
