Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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