He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I will pee on everything he values.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
