That's intense
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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