Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
