Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
