the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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