Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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