Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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