Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have demons in me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
