I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
