Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
