Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just want nice things and good sex
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
