Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
