i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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