Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you

Fav 7 2147 903
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(714): View more from California

I think I am morally bankrupt

Fav 29 2723 970
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

Fav 65 4160 730
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(563): View more from Iowa

I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.

Fav 51 1374 4772
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(509): View more from Washington

Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though

Fav 19 6356 1401
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(703): View more from Virginia

I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.

Fav 20 6065 1379
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.

Fav 9 1430 5378
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(336): View more from North Carolina

At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

Fav 3 926 515
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(702): View more from Nevada

This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.

Fav 0 11 94
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