it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
