theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
