Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
