I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize