Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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