How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
