Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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