I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She told me I should be a condom model.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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