I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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