My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
