I hate your face
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We got so high we made milksteak
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
