This girl is more easily done than said...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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