this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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