I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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