Sry I called you an 8
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
