After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
