like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
