Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
