I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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