I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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