whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
