i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
