Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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