And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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