Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You are the jesus of drinking
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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