I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
