Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
