I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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