I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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