how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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