when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
