I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize