Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
