Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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