True but thats because hes a fetus.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
