Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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